Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
