idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Randomize
