it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Half Baked? Au contraire, Ben and Jerry, I was fully baked when I ate that whole pint of ice cream.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
just weighed my balls on my pocket scale. that high.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
I know he's not here, but I can still see him. I found some of my old stash and its good shit so its expected to see sunlight at night and scary llama men. Midgets or otherwise.
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
