I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
Randomize
