It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
i was having this nice romantic moment with my girlfriend. then jimmy came in and peed on the fridge
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
I think people are normalizing furries
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
Randomize
