Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
I just realized that the music from spongebob is also used in real sex HBO.
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
just did a beer bong in the shower while i was taking an actual shower its officially football time
She's trying to feed the TV fried rice and screaming "FRIED RICE AND TEARS". Please bring me more booze.
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
