It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
We got to his house, cuddled while watching game of thrones, then fucked during the repeat airing.
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
Randomize
