Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
honey bunches of taint.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Randomize
