This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
My own mom unfriended me on Facebook.
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
My fingers feel amazing. Their going like 100 MPH!!
HOLY SHIT. SHIT THAT IS HOLY. HOLY OF THE SHIT.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
He said "send me a motivational picture" so I sent one with mayo on my face that said "clearly I'm no stranger to white stuff on my face"...I'm the fuckingng worst
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Randomize
