She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
