Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
thats it. im teaching my cat how to use a fire alarm
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
Randomize
