Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
I'm high, and her 2,100 tagged pictures annoy me even MORE. I wish it had a google searchbar so I could type in "cleavage pics" to get to the point.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
I've eaten cheese dip for three consecutive meals. I think I need to branch out.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
You can't break up with me. I brought you to see Beyoncé.
How did you tell her we met?
I told her that we met at the sex shop down the street, I thought it would be the most reasonable explanation.
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
You guys do the cocaine and I'll do the dishes.
Randomize
