so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
oh no, im for sure still drunk. i wana eat evrything in the fancy feast commercial... everything
all I heard when I woke up this morning was "BONG HITS FOR BREAKFAST" being yelled repeatedly.
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You never know how much you love your bed until you sleep with 4 other people in your car.
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
Randomize
