"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
If you're going to be single forever, you should try the quesalupas at Taco Bell.
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
