I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
it was 5AM and you were field goal kicking solo cups into the sink
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Okay the common myth about putting tampons in you nostrils for a nose bleed is busted. It just starts coming out through your throat.
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Man I just realized that my only life problem right now is that I have to convince myself not to fuck a 19-y-o
Randomize
