yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
She looked at me and said there is a 90% chance I am going to puke in the next 10 minutes. 10 minutes later she is in jack in the box throwing up. She has amazing timing.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Im just a social blackout drinker.
Just used my front-facing camera to check my pupils. Technology!
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
The golf course isn't that incognito for sex.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
sober me is the one who makes bad decisions every boyfriend I've ever had I met sober
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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