i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize