I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
SLUTTIEST. 4TH. EVER.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
