Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
SOMEONE has to puke in the potted plants at an Xmas party. As their boss I felt it should be me.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
! asked the random counter guy from 7/11 for Percocet. he immediately called his hookup
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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