Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
