fter the third song from an iPod commercial played I realized how much that frat sucked.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Randomize
