Every time we go downtown I ask myself why we live in Des Moines
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
For future reference, the blowjob coupons I gave you for your birthday are NOT transferable to pay your friends for tacos.
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
I'm really stressed out right now.
I think you're confusing "stressed" and "sober".
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Randomize
