i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
I'm going to need you to stop harassing my professor on Twitter when you're drunk.
Randomize
