i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I puked in the pool and didn't tell them, then they all went swimming. Is it dick to just sit back and enjoy the show?
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
Mother fucker, I knew it was bad when you tried making out with my car window
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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