Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
Just got the orientation leader spot. For the first two days, I will be one of the best looking guys on campus. The freshman girls will be so disappointed they settled for me when everyone else comes back.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
you got into a really intense arguement about protecting bees. it was wierdly arousing.
Why were you twerking to, "The Wheels on the Bus"?
He yanked my breathe right strip off in the middle of me riding him.
Randomize
