I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
Note to self: You can't deep fry cheese-its.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
Randomize
