Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
he sat in the bathtub shirtless yelling in gibberish for 40 minutes. funniest. stoner. ever.
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
She put her coat on went to leave and called me an asshole. I responded with "I never said I wasn't" and then she pounced on me like a cat on cat nip.
His ass is a ten, but his personality is a two. Which would average to a six if I didn't have to figure in apologizing to all and sundry. In short hard no. Get a new wingman.
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