this boner is exhausting
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
To show us how offended you were you took off the right foot of your pterodactyl suit and proceeded to attack us with it.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Randomize
