So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
i told you i was taking the Metra Train, and you asked what type of drug that was.. so yes i believe you when you say you were fucked up
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
Randomize
