Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
My therapist said that she thinks i may have a sex addiction. I think she may be a terrible therapist.
Want me to drive you to Dr. Drew's sex rehab?
Nah, cause then i cant masturbate to that show anymore.
No one showed up yet so I smoked 4:20 on chatroulette with a naked chick..
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
On campus. Grown men in women's sexy bee costumes. Complete with legwarmers. This cannot be real life.
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
First. I had the strength. Now. I am the death.
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
