If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
He rubbed my back afterwards. I forgot how to talk and I legitimately thought I was a cat for a few minutes.
The uberlube is also flammable
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
You want further proof that God hates me? Okay. We're on the way to the ER. A homeless man stabbed me at the gas station.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
thanks for the bj man. also make sure you close the gate behind you. the chickens are out.
Randomize
