But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
It's a sad day when you can't take off your pants and drink a margarita at work.
Harry Potter pub crawl tonight. You know you're living your life right when your check list for the evening is wizard robes, wand and acid.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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