I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
I drunkenly transformed into shehulk last night and lifted every single guy off the ground bc one guy told me that there was no way I was strong enough. Don't worry, I proved them wrong. Stupid stereotypical men.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
My goal is to have my roommate find me sprawled out in the middle of my floor naked and passed out. Maybe with some Alfredo chicken hanging out of my mouth. I don't know, we'll see where this goes.
Your youporn search history says otherwise.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize