i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I was tripping so hard I was disappointed when I pulled back the shower curtain and shrek wasn't standing there
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
I honestly think sometimes all you need is a $2 alcoholic punch poured from a jug into a big glass to feel better. I guess abblebees is my new problematic fav
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