I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Delete her number from his phone. He keeps slurring how he's going to get her "all sorts of pregnant".
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Randomize
