woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
of course. lets lasso hookers.
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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