I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
You all can go fuck yourselves. As far as I'm concerned, don't come back to karaoke.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
If you didn't damage your room so much from fucking so hard we would have got more of our security deposit back
I resent that
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
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