If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
