i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
All I know is I woke up next to her beside the toilet
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
his roommates said i can move in if i promise to only drink tequila the rest of the semester. challenge accepted.
He said i looked like a shooting star sprawled out on the floor while i puked and i kept blaming "senor cuervo" for doing me dirty.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
