He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
He told me he doesn't dance and he hates drunken excitement. Why I ever thought it would work is beyond me.
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I can motorboat myself in this new push-up bra. I need to go out tonight.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
Woke up in my boxers on a subway with a phone number written on my arm in lipstick..Best Night EVER.
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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