Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
I've come to realize that I need a break from life when I just tried to use my address numbers as the cook time on the microwave
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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