So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Her stripper name is Geico. I'm not drunk or creative enough to make this up.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
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