Is it normal that I have to take off my pants to get mouth stitches removed?
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
I must have some kind of deep rooted instinct that tells me when a boys virginity needs to be taken.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
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