somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
I can't think of anything besides pubic hair fallout. Ugh.
Listening to Whitney Houston sing the National Anthem while I shit before going out tonight. America.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
So I've discovered that being hungover at 25 feels the same as being hungover at 24. Happy Birthday to me.
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Although the guy I'm messing around with just offered to let me be his rich brother's sugar baby
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
