Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
I was so drunk i thought Kathy Griffin was funny
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
Mustard is by no means a replacement for yellow wall paint
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I thought I needed to get laid. Turns out I just needed pasta.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
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