Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
i want to be friends with one of those mini shredded wheat men.
The lady sitting right behind me on the bus has baby birds in her purse. Shes feeding them bugs from a cup with a pair of tweezers... I love san francisco!
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
you said you couldn't hang because you had to masturbate and feed your lizard
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
Just a reminder- you dropped broccoli in my car and then felt bad for it and named him Henry
I know. I miss henry.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize