apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Only I could do what I did last night and feel perfectly ok working around children the next day
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I don't know how I got home but I'm pretty sure the guy in my closet had something to do with it
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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