if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
can we get vodka so I have an excuse for being an emotional wreck
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I forgot to tell you, the medics put you in a wheel chair. ( I kept telling you to cat daddy) oh you also gave everyone high fives for speaking English.
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
