Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
I just want somebody who'll randomly bring me pizza and lovingly squeeze my butt. Is there a dating app for that, do you think?
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Randomize
