i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Randomize
