someone threw a dead crab at me
I think i lit a firework with a joint. happy birthday, america?
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I hope it's the birth control, otherwise I'm dying
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
Somehow I ended up in a different costume dancing with some tree of a guy in the basement bathroom, what did you give me?
I didn't know how wild the party was going to be until one girl brought her pet raccoon
He said he loves me but he haven't eaten me out yet. So I don't think he means it.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
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