i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
M WATCHING THE HISTORY CHANNEL AND IT SAID THAT WHEN THE LUST PART OF THE BRAIN IS ACTIVATED THE JUDGEMENT PART IS NOT. THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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