We need to rekindle our bromance
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
He passed out mid-signature
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
we should look into getting a golf cart for the weekend. i have a feeling legs wont be a sufficient source of transportation.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
Like, my vagina is jet-lagged.
Randomize
