Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
I'll hook up with guys I don't even like, as long as they leave early enough the next day.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
If the blood belongs to whoever dumped glitter all over my couch than the motherfucker got what was coming to them. If not, I hope they're ok.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
If this first date goes well and I like him, I won't sleep with him. But if it doesn't go well, I'll sleep with him.
Ooo, yeah! Thanksgiving will be a blast. Can't fuckin wait for the next round of "have you found a nice young man yet?" Followed by a lovely helping of "don't worry, there's someone out there for you."
Where the fuck are you? I just got punched in the nose by a tourist
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
Randomize
