She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
The sky will open, cue choir of angels: "oh! wow! Matt was right! Not only will I grow out my bush, but I'm going to date straight, available men!"
you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
he came within less than a minute of me blowing him. this was our second night hanging out in a row. for an almost 30 year old italian man, he is NOT living up to his country's reputation
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
You obviously dont comprehend the level of insane i operate at
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
It may be a corded vibrator from the 90s but it gets the job DONE
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
