I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
On a serious note, don't let me forget to tell you about firecracker baseball. I'm glad I have my fingers. I had to count them.
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
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