i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
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