Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
We're following a guy carrying a door for beer pong at his place..join us when you are deemed sober enough to leave the hospital.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
Mcnellies. I'm drunk enough that you have a window. Capitalize.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
Randomize
