what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
Things I love twice as much when drunk: Taco Bell. Office chairs that roll. Classes.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
I woke up hugging my purse and I found a business card in my underwear. How?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
