who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
You drunk dialed me talking about the stages of mitosis. There is no way you didn't ace your bio final
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
They left around 10:00 this morning. I've been naked since 10:01.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
