His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
Sometimes I'm sad but then I realize that bagels.
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
Randomize
