Just figured out how to smoke weed with a toaster.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
I was wearing the shirt my little sister got for her birthday when the condom broke. I finally have it back to her and told her it was bad luck
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
Randomize
