I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Next time I see you, remind me to tell you how I fell through my attic door and landed on my feet in the garage on the first floor.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
Are we still banned from the library?
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
She's like an enigma, wrapped in a riddle, tossed in miller light, inside a question. Nobody can explain a Heather.
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
and you fell through a lawn chair
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
Randomize
