yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I just saw a guy masturbating vigorously at the bus stop across from del taco at 2:30am...im pretty sure he wasn't even homeless
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I guarantee you he will only fuck with old bitches from now on
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
Randomize
