i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
it sounded like he was fisting a can of crisco.
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
sooo I am sorta kinda using your name as my stripper stage name.
In the wise words of Scar: "be prepared."
Do you think Scar was a Boy Scout?
She told me to pick her up in the corner of shame and self-disgust.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I just took a condom out of my purse and opened it in front of my entire family because I thought it was a wetnap. Way too hungover for family brunch.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
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