I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
I FOUND THE LEGS
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
Randomize
