I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
The verizon commercial has a magical pinata. Candy just keeps coming out. It must be a portal to a candy universe.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
the last thing i remember is ordering pitchers of white russians....
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
My mouth feels like I've been chewing on leather and firecrackers for the past 3 days
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Wow. Memory lane. What a horrendously unsightly jizz stain on the tapestry of life.
Just threw up mid-poop. I can't drink like I used to.
Randomize
