Very hungover, bought a newspaper and found my shorts from last night in the machine.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
It's a classy one I promise! Their toilets are cushioned an tier wifi is named hummingbird
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