But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
What's the point in getting all dressed up and going when i'm just gonna throw up on myself by midnight?
sex on the roof is not as easy as it sounds
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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