Well apparently he's into motor boating.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
we've decided to start cutting you off when you can't figure out how to work an ipod.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Come over. We have tacos... And girls who took their clothes off. But mainly, tacos.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Randomize
