last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
The google font looked peculiar last night, but then up close I realized it was just dry vomit.
My rats are drinking wine. I am drinking with rats. God i am so alone.
Nicole, you can't keep coming over at 3am wanting to build igloos.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Guess who was PASSED OUT ON A BMW. I shit you not
Stop it right now
This time face forward
And amler is totally snoring loud as fuck sitting on the steps with her feet in a puddle of soda puke
My manager said you offered to make out with him to ensure I keep my job if I didn't show up to work today
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
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