Do ugly people know they are ugly?
The quiet ones do.
Are you kidding me. My sex life has diminshed to having wet dreams about jerking off.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
I just want to fuck you then discuss implications of our existence afterwards. Then Doritos and hot tub.
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
Randomize