so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I guess there's some 16 and under softball tournament and they all are at my work. what is a 21 year old to do?
The responsible thing...show them the break room.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
Forever getting my life back together in gas station bathrooms.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Randomize
