We should be called the Road Head Warriors
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
It's the only time I've ever felt manly shitting myself
Someone at all my grapes... if it was you or one of your hoodrat friends I swear to god I'll shit in your shampoo
being pregnant is like rehab
i was drunk enough to give the cab driver my number when he said "you talk like you like guys"
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I didn't know I was invited to an orgy.
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