my underwear are soaked with white zifandel yet i have continued to wear them despite the fact im at home
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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